Republican National Convection, Day 1

August 28, 2012

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Craig Warga/ NY Daily News

So as McKay Coppins pointed out on BuzzFeed, “Within minutes of Mitt Romney officially winning the Republican nomination, the Facebook page for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints posted a blunt reminder that it is “politically diverse.”  And so I will attempt to express that political diversity with my own comments about the first day of the Republican National Convention.  See below for the LDS Church’s new video.

In case you didn’t happen to watch the RNC’s first day, (yesterday having been scrapped for fears that Hurricane Isaac would wipe out Tampa Bay like what Vesuvius did for Pompeii,) then you didn’t miss nothing but a lot of hot air blowing around.  A bunch of people spoke including John Boehner who proved that the swirling special effects behind his head can be more interesting than all his “a guy walked into a bar” jokes that never got to the punchline. And then the pink governors on parade began: the Governors of Ohio, Nevada, Oklahoma, New Jersey, Wisconsin, and Virginia all got up there as if to remind their constituents, “You voted Republican once, why not again?” Also we heard from Santorum, and he was only interesting because everyone knew he’d say something crazy. They also showcased the engaging Mia Love – (have you heard of her yet?) But then there was turncoat Arthur Davis.  He is an anomaly to me.  But considering how he flipped from being an Obama supporter to stumping for Romney in just four years, maybe he is the perfect speaker at a convention to nominate the biggest flip-flopper of them all.

Well, if you wanted to hear what Ann Romney had to say, it started like this,  “This is gonna be so exciting!” And I wondered… what? the convention? a Romney presidency? or her talk?  (She is Mormon, so it was most definitely a talk.) But let me get all my snark out of the way: I couldn’t decide if Ann Romney sounded more like Sarah Palin (I LOOOOVE YOU WOMEEN!) or a second counselor in a bygone-era RS Presidency.  (Have you noticed that some of the women speakers in General Conference smile all through their talks? Ann Romney sure has.)  But her smiling laughter and awkward guffaws aside, I am bothered that she spent so much time talking about the poor and the downtrodden of America, when her husband’s plan to help these people is to raise taxes on the poor and middle class and slash taxes for the rich, with some expectation that these wealthy Americans will hopefully create more jobs (or give to more charities) and trickle that wealth on down like rain water through a sewage ditch.  (Click here to see my last trickle-down economics metaphor.)

However, Ann Romney appeared to be genuine in her praise for her husband.  Of course, she has an incredible amount of love and respect for him.  She has seen his hard work and dedication as a leader in church and as governor of Massachusetts.  At one point, she said of Romney, “No one will work harder, no one will care more, and no one will move heaven and earth like Mitt Romney to make this country a better place to live.”  She also spoke of Mitt’s passion for serving, and how he doesn’t brag about it: “Mitt doesn’t like to talk about how he’s helped others, because he sees it as a privilege, not a political talking point.”

Clearly, Ann Romney was on the stage to humanize her husband and to show America the side of him that only she might see.  Well, I guess I wasn’t expecting her to seem so awkward herself.  I guess that both Mitt and Ann are a little on the socially inept end of the spectrum, (hence, their “real marriage”).  I will be interested to see how “America” (whoever that is) views her address.

The night closed with Governor Christie, who proved he isn’t as likable as he you’d imagine him to be, and who also proved that he was running for the President of New Jersey (or of the USA 2016).  But I’m not complaining; his speech spurred the instant-classic moment of the evening: a guy in the convention hall gets projected onto the screen behind Christie while yelling, “YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!” Wrong convention, wrong candidate.  (Watch for him at 17:17.)

And Condoleezza Rice looked so tired.  Did somebody force her to be there?  By the way, if you check back tomorrow, you may or may not find a review of day 2. We may want to go to bed early, and unlike Condi, nobody is forcing us to show up.

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5 Comments on “Republican National Convection, Day 1”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Joseph,
    You are just to funny! I don’t know how you could watch the whole thing, we in Australia is getting a pretty large feed of the Republican convention as we will of the the Democrats Convention, I find the conventions boring for the most part because they are all preaching to the choir and don’t really do a lot to encourage voters to choose. The voters wil listen to the news services to get there opinon of the candidates from the media, right or wrong that is the way it is. Keep up the good work of keeping us in far flung parts of the world informed.

    • Joseph Says:

      I actually exagerrated. I only watched some of it… But seriously, it isn’t like watching General Conference; it really is the same thing said over and over again. They must all use the same speech writer.

  2. Vern Piso Says:

    Well written Joseph. Just one thing: the poor will absolutely NOT pay taxes under a Romney Presidency. Please stop saying they will.

  3. BDUB Says:

    Sister Romney’s delivery-style was not Palin it was Oprah. “I love you WOMEEEENNN” “Everyone gets a CAAAARRRRR” it’s that whole speak/sing thing that drives me nuts. One of the things that bothered me about her talk (and you’re right, it was a talk) was how many times she felt the need to tell us how funny her husband is (she doth protest too much). We counted five different times she mentioned his humor. Whenever I see the Romney sons interviewed they always bring up how funny their dad is. Why is this a thing? Why are comedic chops important in a president? I understand that funny is relative term and maybe to his kids and wife Mitt is a regular Jay Leno but if you have to talk about it all the time then it becomes suspect. Mitt being (purposefully) funny will not get me to vote for him. I’m sure he’d be a great home teacher but I don’t want him as my President. Letterman 2012!

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